Socializing as an Expat

Like me, some International Business Management students live away from home. Others might be preparing for studies abroad. You will probably end up moving somewhere else after graduating. That is why I decided to share a few things I've learned from my time abroad.

I have been away from my home country for the last 5 years of my life. Most psychologists agree it takes someone about 2 years to adapt to a new culture.

I think in my case, the process took a lot longer. I made several mistakes I wouldn't want you to make. For that reason, I have decided to fill the next few posts with advice on how to overcome the expat struggle as fast as you can.

For the next weeks I would like to give you a few tips on adapting to a new culture. There's no better way than trial and error, but someone else's experience might help:  

1. Don't be afraid to approach people

If you are shy, this is one of the first things you need to work on. When you leave your country, you also leave an entire support system behind: friends, family and even your pets! Any functioning human being needs this support system, especially when living abroad.

If you suffer from social anxiety, consider yourself a shy person or if you are an introvert, overcoming your fear to talk to strangers is one of the challenges you need to work on as soon as possible. It will surely pay off when you have a bunch of like-minded friends to support you and have fun with.

I'm no expert on overcoming social anxiety - it's something I myself struggle with - but I often watch youtube tutorials or ted talks and read how-to articles on beating shyness. You could get started with a video like this one:

2. Start NOW!

At home, you had your entire life to build that support system: you were born in a family - if you are lucky, a supportive one! - and as you grew up you met a bunch of people that ended up becoming your friends through the years.

When you move into a new country, you need to make friends ASAP. Be friendly and talk to everyone you meet. The chance that you end up being good friends with someone you just met is very small, which only means you have to increase those chances by meeting as many people as you can.

Friends are those incredible creatures that make us feel home no matter where we are. After all, friends are the family we get to choose.

Use any chance you get to make new friends: at school, at the bus stop, in the gym, or why not, even in the supermarket. There's always an opportunity to meet interesting people. (It is true that in order to meet such people you need to do interesting things, but that's another tip I'll save for the next post)

3. Keep up to date with the local culture

If you are updated about what is going on in your host country, you will never run out of things to talk about. Try to learn the language of your host culture as quickly as you can. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is: the faster you speak the language, the smoother cultural immersion will be for you. 

 If, however, you have just arrived and haven't had the chance to learn the language, make sure to learn just a few phrases. Natives love it when you show interest in their culture.

Speaking of interest: don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions. Locals will love it if you are curious about their customs, history or language. They might even ask you about your own culture in return. You will then engage in a conversation that could end up making you a new friend!

4. Talk to many, speak to few

Meeting as many people as you can and getting to know them is a good start for making friends. However, this doesn't mean you should befriend absolutely everyone you meet.  

Since you have a lifetime of making friends to catch up in a limited time, you need to be selective with whom you befriend. 

As a general rule, I like to surround myself with people who have my same interests and common goals.


                           

Having fun with random people can be good - especially if you are feeling down or lonely -, but the best kind of friendships are those who help you become a better version of yourself. 

It's not about making a lot of friends, it is mostly about making good friends. In Spanish we have a saying, " you get the shadow of the tree you get close to". It means that you are a reflection of those you surround yourself with. 

(This guy had a lot to say about friendship besides writing Narnia)

That is why choosing carefully who you spend your time with is so important. Keeping people who inspire you and push you to be better will make your experience abroad a lot richer.

These are some tips for today. Thanks for reading!  

Nos vemos!

Elvira