Unexpected lessons on Networking

Antonio Banderas with his friend and author Antonio Soler

                                              

I would like to introduce today´s post with an anecdote: 

    When I was studying at Ghent University, we had a guest lecture for Spanish Literature by a reknown Spanish writer, Antonio Soler. At the moment of the lecture I must admit that I had no idea who he was, or that he was a well-known author. 

The lecture was about this novel concerning generation post-  Spanish Civil War

    However, during the lecture I found out the theme of his novels were mostly the Spanish Civil War and I remembered that year I had been to a guided tour through the buidling Vooruit in Ghent. In this building, now famous for its parties and events as well as the cosy atmosphere of its Cafe, there had taken place an event years ago that I thought would interest him.

The Vooruit, now known for its Cafe and parties, was once scenario to the tragedy of the Spanish children sent abroad

    After the lecture I came close to the professor of our subject and I told her what I had heard during that guided tour: during the Spanish Civil War, many Spanish families sent their children to Belgium to be adopted by Belgian families, so they could spare them from the horrors of the war.

    Around a hundred of those children were sent to Ghent, and in one of the big rooms in the Vooruit Belgian families could choose which children they could take for adoption, which resulted in divided families since many siblings did not get the same home. The guide also told us that about 30 years afterwards, someone managed to organize an event where all the children who were adopted could get together in the same room in the Vooruit. It was an emotional evening since many of the now adults recognized their long lost siblings. 

     I told the professor that, perhaps, she could tell the author to visit this place since I figured it would be something interesting for him.

    She replied I should actually tell him myself, and she asked me to join them for some "copas" (a very Spanish way of saying you want to have some wine with friends). We would go out after the lecture with the head of the Spanish and French Literature Department, some other professors, and the author. I was surprised at the invitation since I would be the only student joining, but thrilled nonetheless. 

    She told him about my advice to go to Vooruit some time, introduced him to me and later on decided it would be a good idea to have some drinks in the Vooruit itself. During that night I found out the author was actually a close friend to Antonio Banderas and had adapted one of his scripts to a movie with him. The movie was called Summer Rain. 

Antonio Soler wrote the script for this movie, directed by his friend Antonio Banderas

    Mr. Soler asked me a lot about Venezuela, its political situation and how it was for me to leave my country and move to Belgium. I asked him about what it was like to be a full-time writer, which had always been a dream of mine. He told me about his life in Malaga and his friendship and youth with Antonio Banderas, who had been a close friend of his for most of his life. 

   That evening will always be one of my most precious memories in Ghent. Not only did I have a fascinating night full of talks about literature and other subjects that interest me, but I also got to meet someone way more interesting than I had expected. And it was all possible because I genuinely just wanted to give him advice on something I thought would be interesting for him! I did not know who he was upon that moment, and I believe being genuine about my interest in him as a tourist rather than a well-known author was exactly what allowed it all to happen. 

    The reason I bring this up is because I want to talk to you about something that, as a now IBM student is constantly on our minds: Networking. It is a skill every IBM student wishes to cultivate. 

    The concept of networking is something I struggle with: it seems to me many people see networking as making connections with others because of their social status, their position in a certain company, and most of all, because of what they could eventually get from that person. That is not the way I perceive networking, let me tell you why:

    During this semester, we had to follow a manager for a day as one of the tasks for a subject called Talent Management. I asked him what advice he could give me when it came to networking. I was not expecting the answer he gave me:

"It's not about actively looking to make new contacts, it's about being human. Treat everyone you meet with kindness and empathy, and you are not only being a good person: you are also networking. "

    The advice comes from one of the most successful people I have ever met - he is a project manager in Evonik, a doctor in Process Engineering and a professor at a German university - which means I better listen to it. 

    What he said confirmed a mindset I have had for a long time. Networking shouldn´t be about actively looking for "contacts". It is, to me, the ability to create links with everyone you meet, and to establish genuine relationships based on shared values.  

                             

    The thing is, people are able to tell if you are looking for them with a purpose in your mind. The best way to truly network is by being authentic, just as I was back in my anecdote with the Spanish author. Don't meet people actively thinking of what you might get out of them in the future. It is about being genuinely interested in every individual you meet, their worth as a person and what value can you add up to their lives instead of what you could gain from them and their position in a company or their social status. 

                         

    Now, semantics aside, I do want to say that networking is easier than it seems. As long as you keep in mind that it isn't an activity on its own. It is a skill that ought to be cultivated every day in many aspects of your life. Every person you meet is an opportunity to network - as long as you are genuine about it.  

   You are more likely to become close to someone you appreciate for what they are and the values they share with you, rather than what you can get out of them. People who like you will be more inclined to do things for you, regardless of your social status or their position. The thing is, networking is closer to friendship than it is to business in my opinion. 

    I have always had trouble separating the concept of networking with making friends, and perhaps that is a good thing. In the end of the day, friendship will get you a lot further along the way than having "good contacts".